art, artifact, author, Greece, hand grenade, history, Holy Grail, Monty Python, painting, Roman, Rome, sculpture, Stephanie Beavers, writer
They found a holy hand grenade! Crusader-era hand grenade surprises archaeologists
Or at least, it’s a Crusader-era hand grenade (and those were holy wars, right? Riiiiiiight?)
And the Lord spake, saying, “First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.
They pulled the artifact out of the sea, and it’s hundreds of years old.
As it turns out, hand grenades were actually somewhat common in Israel from the 11th to 13th century. Many experts believe these grenades carried a burning, flammable liquid…although other experts disagree, saying these “grenades” were actually perfume bottles. It’s less exciting than a hand grenade, but hey, I’m sure it made the ladies of the time a lot happier.
What do you think, readers? Hand grenade or perfume bottle?
In other historical news: Ultraviolet light reveals how ancient Greek statues really looked
I’ve always been a fan of Greco-Roman artwork. The pale statues and lifelike features have always spoken to me. There’s something magical about them.
Science has gone and ruined it for me. How? It’s gone and revealed that all of this incredible artwork was actually painted in an incredibly tacky fashion.
(IFLS has a video and a brief explanation on how they discovered this clown-town paint job.)
Really though. I know the Roman satirist Juvenal mocked the Roman populace for being sated by “bread and circuses,” but I didn’t think even their gods would look like they belonged in circuses.
What do you think, readers? Am I an uncouth troglodyte for bearing such a mocking opinion of this disfigurement of art, or do you find them reminiscent of so many childish coloring books now too?